Good day.

It was a good day today!

First, I have to tell a short story, a cute one.
Ryan went to bed early, I stayed up reading. When I finally went in to bed I crawled in and he, out of nowhere like woke up and was all "lovey" kissing and wrapping his arms around me- it's super out of character. I was like umm are you asleep? haha. He was said "I just love you". Thought that was so cute. I like to wish he'd be like that more often but I know expectations like that are unrealistic. His testosterone levels are so high-low depending on when we give the shot. yadda yadda.

Ok so didn't fuck up eats yesterday too bad, dinner with g-parents was ok. It was pizza (I knew going in) but it was the cute company MN produced (grandparents are obsessed w/). Anyway Ry's sis and husband were there too (surprise to me). I don't see them much- even thought I should. They said just as I figured, "you're sure losing weight" "getting tiny" blah blah. Don't humor me, I know I'm not tiny, I know I am losing weight. It's not good enough, I want tiny, that's what I'm striving for.
Whatever I had a slice of pizza, could I not- didn't know it was going to be a fucking crowd over there.

This morning Ryan asked what I stayed up reading. I explained the blogs I've been reading -well partial truth- "weight struggles" mwuahaha ;-) Anyway, I went on to say I want my hip bones to pop. I want to feel comfortable in cute shirts, no muffin tops but tight jeans. There's so much I want, and honestly I think I've always wanted this but always thought it'd never happen for me.
Wrong.
It's going to.
It will for this girl right here.

Killer workout in boot camp this morning. Trainer asked how much weight I've lost since starting (oct 1st) he said it's noticeable in my face and neck... thanks? ya no it's good, I shouldn't be so dam negative but I want smallER.
Ate good... v8, 3 ritz crackers (~100) pre workout; 1/2 flat bread (55), string cheese (50). Very little actually now that I see it written out- BUT I'm a big girl, my body will feed on the fat.

P.s. Nice thought: Ryan loved me through my fattest. Greatest love ever. :-)