Thinspired?

Just yesterday I started reading a load of blogs of the thin. God how I wish I could be there. It's so motivating and inspiring.


Can this be me please?
I can't believe how much weight I have to lose before I can even been seen realistically as someone attempting Ana. It's going to be so gross when I finally do get down. I will have nasty, ishy skin. It will be so gross.
Anyway, I'm going to keep trying. Stop eating. Cut every calorie I can come up with. God I hate Thanksgiving. It's gonna be a test for sure. It's like something come over me, food is my drug. I binge like a monster, at the time I think "oh it'll be fine I don't care I just want it so bad" then I get done, I'm fucking pissed. Just PISSED. I've purged here and there, but Ryan gets so mad about it. I can't let him know, he doesn't want anything to happen... blah blah. I want to be thin so bad, why does this take so long!?

Heavy boot camp tomorrow, must sleep early before morning class.